I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
