My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
