He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
