So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
