So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
