Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
