Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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