I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize