that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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