I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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