I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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