i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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