I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
