Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
