I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
