you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
is wine microwaveable?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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