I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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