its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
