I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize