are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize