P.S. I can't hear my feet
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
