one might say we're banned from that church
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I love you.
Bad choice
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