Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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