I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
