Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It's never too late to be topless.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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