Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
