He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Who died my cat blue again?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
