So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
