if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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