It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
