More tranny stories later!
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
