I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
