I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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