Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
