nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
