Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
