You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
