it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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