There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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