i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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