how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
