You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
