apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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