Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
