This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
cat food counts as protein by the way
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
