respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I think I just sharted jello shots
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