I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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