You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize