once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
