just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
