alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
