I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Someone shit on the floor
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
