he thought i was a dude.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
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