you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
