Just cropdusted the office
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
