A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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