Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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