Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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