I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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