yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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