Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
