I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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