I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
