I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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