I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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