Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
id be glad to
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
