Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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