I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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