Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
